dark.

right now i'm sitting through my designated ditched class of the week. this semester i have become a terrible slacker, and if i don't ditch one or more classes a week i feel like i don't have a mind of my own.

this semester has been very dark. i can't really explain it any other way than that.

dark.

i have rebelled, gotten drunk, and ran away from Christ more than i ever have before.
and He let me.

He let me.

gah, i am so thankful. at the beginning of this semester i never thought i would be saying that.
but i am. i feel i have learned so much through the pain. through the running. and even through the crazy drunken nights.

last night my dear friends and me sat in a room and prayed.
and laughed. and talked about how this semester has been rough for all of us in some way. satan has had a huge stronghold on us all. but he didn't win the fight.

i am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for next semester. i think it is going to be something spectacular for His glory. satan has been working hard at trying to make that not happen.

i am so thankful for my friends. sigh.

we layed in the street last night and looked at the, ever so bright, full moon. and the stars. and the clouds. and prayed. it was beautiful. and i realized that although this semester has been ugly, and we all have ugly hearts, it is still, and we are still, beautiful.


there is beauty in the ugly.

now i am off to freemans ranch, a secluded area in the hills of hill country.
ah, stoked.